Mental Weakness

You know, tonight's hunt started off full of optimism. I headed out after a long day of work. I decided to hunt a favorite spot because the wind was perfect, and I had a gut feeling the buck I missed opening day was  still calling that area his sleeping quarters.

I wasn't wrong.

At 5:45 p.m., the first doe showed up. Then the second, third, and fourth.  They grazed & played a bit.  All of the sudden, they spooked..., somewhat.  They were actually pushed out of the way by a buck making his presence with a dominant demeanor.  He was hooking and trashing some small trees & saplings. What a sight.

I had already ranged & re-ranged the surrounding "marks". I had this.  I waited patiently. No big deal.  I already had told myself I was going to hold at 32 yards, on the heart area to ensure a lethal hit in case he jumped the string.

At 6:05 the moment of truth presented itself.  I second guessed myself. SHAME ON ME!!! You see, I miss judged him the first time, and undershot the buck.  This time, I held a little higher at the last second. I squeezed the release. The shot was high!!

I failed myself, but more than that, I failed the animal. How sick is that? I failed the animal I was aiming to kill? YES!  He deserved better. Pass on him, miss him, or kill him. He's roaming around wounded, if he doesn't get overtaken by coyotes. I knew as soon as I'd let go of the arrow it was bad.  Have you ever shot at a target and realized it was a poor/bad shot the SECOND it was made? That's how I felt. 

I consider myself a dedicated archer, and fairly good shot. I consider myself an experienced hunter, meaning I practice hunting scenarios, have killed my share of game, have tracked, etc. etc. So what happened? It's not a lack of practice, physical skill or talent.

I attribute tonight's epic failure to mental weakness.  It happened tonight. I was mentally weak tonight. I have lost few deer to coyotes. I have missed my share, too. But wounded..., knowing I have made a bad shot, my second (on a buck, for that matter). 

I am being hard on myself, I guess. I think I should. I need to improve on my mental toughness. The game I pursue deserve that "true hunter" mentality.

Simply said, it's difficult to know I have wounded an animal. Hunting never gets old, but wounding a whitetail, I never will get used to it (not should I).

I guarantee this. I will be commited to strengthening that faulty metal link.

After two hours of tracking, loss of blood, I called it. Rain tomorrow lessens my chances of a successful, quality tracking duty.  I'll go back, regardless.

I am a hunter.

God bless.